As an Upholder, I have a tough time being criticized, corrected, or accused – of even the smallest mistakes – and I react very angrily.Yikes, how I struggle to keep my sense of humor and light-heartedness! Here are some of the strategies that you will try to use to accept criticism.

1. Listen to what a critic is saying.

Really listen, try to understand that point of view, and don’t just nod while you formulate your retorts. Accept just criticism.

2. Don’t be defensive.

 This is the toughest step for you. With my writing, for example, I always have to take a deep breath before reading an audit assignment or meeting with Boss, to remind myself, “I welcome criticism. This person is helping me. I’m eager to hear how to improve my book/article/post.” Along the same lines…

3. Don’t expose yourself to criticism from people YOU don’t respect.

You pay a lot of attention to criticism from people you respect, but you try to shield yourself from criticism from people YOU don’t know or don’t respect, because you fear that you’ll react to it, even though it may be unfounded. So when you get trustworthy criticism about your writing, You act on it, but You try to avoid reading drive-by smarminess. The means that bad affect us more strongly than good and you fear that you’ll change you’re writing in response to some person’s thoughtless comment, in ways that won’t make your work stronger. You need to stay creative, open-hearted, adventuresome, and honest, and if you feel defensive and apologetic, you won’t maintain those elements.

4. Delay Your reaction.

Count to ten, take a deep breath, sleep on it, and wait until the next day to send that email…any kind of delay is good. Just want to described, One of the situation of last three year experience of a young men that he was in a situation where people around him just auditing his action or reaction to know the truth of the incidence/his role with that incidence which had taken place at those places from where he had some link/connectivity. Incidences related to social difference which leading the people’s mindset about political interferences at place (can’t be describe). Everyone just raising their eyes around him and saying “Ek chhota jallad bade jallad ki nazro me hai” certainly his father involved with a road accident and he visit accident place, from a crowed one men just taken a name (can’t be describe) and saying “Usse Jante Ho Tum” young men was just stunned. Next day his father said to his office college “Agar Saamne “Kaala Nag” aur “Maithili Brahman” ho to pehle “Maithili Brahman” ko marna chahiye just in a gossip way because his father don’t know anything about the situation which are persisted around him but people who are raising question in a sense that he know everything. So in such a sense he is answering question of person. Certainly young men realize that he and his family is in a very danger situation and tries to divert mind of the people to normalize the situation by telling truth of humor through not doing anything at all. Then after people are thinking “why chhota Jallad is silent” Yaar!!! Time had gone gradually people realize this was just a humor about this young man. Leave it and concentrate on work. (Still some humor but this was in a positive “let see till what time it will be persisted). Finally we can say “Kind of Delay is Good”       

5. Admit Your mistakes.

One of the Judges gave me an outstanding piece of advice when I meet with him in Chennai. He said, “If you take the blame when you deserve it, you’ll get the responsibility.” I’ve found that to be very true. Difficult, but true. In my experience, until someone in a group (or in a family) accepts blame, everyone stays very anxious and focused on fingering the person at fault. Once I raise my hand (if appropriate), then everyone else can relax. And then we can all focus on what needs to be done.

6. Enjoy the fun of failure.

Fact is, trying new things and aiming high exposes me to criticism. I remind myself to Enjoy the fun of failure to try to re-frame failure and criticism as part of the fun. Otherwise, my dread of criticism can paralyze me. Once, when I told my BhoothNath that I was upset because I’d received a mean comment here on one of the post of a site, My BhoothNath said, “Remember, this is what you want. You want to put your ideas out there. Not everyone is going to be nice.

By Vikash Kumar Jha