BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??



WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
and comes out
of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both
ears and
comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What
do you think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no
one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again
yesterday".

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or
the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need
it but the
sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't
need it".

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when
people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

My father is so old that when he was in school,
history was
called current affairs.

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father
is a
teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that
I've
failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
past year's
performance repeated".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a
donkey and
stopped
him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before
eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook".

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering
doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show
that nine out
of ten
people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth
case I've
treated. The others all died".

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married
on the same
day and
at the same time."

Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his
father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."